Writing 359, via Joel

Brunswick Junior High School
Brunswick, Maine, USA 04011
Men's restroom, 1st floor

Fuck me suck me,
make me bleed.
Kinky sex,
is what i need.

I read this above a urinal one day back in junior high. I'll never foget it. Nor will I forget how hard it is to pee while laughing hysterically, or the strange looks people gave me when I walked out, still chuckling to myself.

Writing 358, via Bubba

Hotel Lobby Restroom
Illinois USA
Men's restroom, 1st floor

Some come here to sit and think,
some come here to shit and stink,
but I come here to itch my balls,
and read the writing on the walls.

I thought this was a funny poem...

Writing 354, via Mr. Business

Sportsmans' Park Restrooms
Idaho Falls, ID 83404
Men's restroom, 1st floor

For a good conversation, meet here at 2:50pm on July 10.
Look for a maroon van.

Known locally as "Peter Park" because the homosexual perverts (not to say all homosexuals are perverts, just the twisted, child molesting ones) like to meet there, I found myself in that bathroom, on that day, at 2:47 PM. I cannot describe the abject horror I felt. I peed on myself in my haste to exit the bathroom, and sure enough, a maroon minivan pulled up at 2:49 and a suspicious pervert got out and checked the bathroom. If you have ever seen Dumb and Dumber, you can't even imagine the terror of the truckstop bathrooom scene.

Writing 349, via Buckethead

Rest Stop
Somewhere in Ohio USA
Men's restroom, 1st floor

You are at a 45 degree angle.

This inscription was located in the bottom front corner of the stall, in small enough print that you had to bend over to read it.

Writing 348, via Alx

Tucson, Arizona USA 85715
Men's restroom, 3rd




Brilliant in its subtlety.

Writing 344, via Zack

Mr. P Potty
Calgary, Alberta CANADA V2P LR5
Men's restroom, dirt ground porto potty, (slighty elevated)

I see you taking that shit!
Now put it back.

My presumptions would be that when you are being secretly observed doing your business it's nice to know that the onlooker is at least kind enough to let you know about it.

Writing 343, via Tim

Jackson, Mississippi USA 39641
Unisex restroom, ground floor

A womans ass and a wine glass will leave a man scratching a broke ass.

Wrote by my dad as words of wisdom to all us young guys.

Writing 341, via Anonymous

The Top
Gainesville, Florida USA 32601
Men's restroom, 1st floor


Written in an odd yellow glittery permanent marker.

Writing 340, via Anonymous

Downtown Library
Gainesville, Florida USA 32601
Men's restroom, 1st floor


Apparently someone took issue with the proselytizing.

Writing 334, via Lance

Spokane, Washington USA
Men's restroom, 1st floor



Explanation from The Daily Farmer:

This is a reference to an Adam Sandler CD [They're All Gonna Laugh At You] bit about a fat kid who wheezes so loud when he climbs stairs that the fire dept. thinks that it is a fire alarm. When they realize that it is just the kid, they say... "Oh Fatty McGee, you're that fattest!"

Writing 332, via Doug

Hastings College
Music Building
Hastings, Nebraska USA 37076
Men's restroom, main floor

Written on tank next to handle:

Please wiggle Handel

Written below it:

If I do, will it wiggle Bach?

Being a music student at the time, I found this to be clever and have always remembered it.

Writing 331, via Crazy Ed

Georgia Southern University
Henderson Library
Statesboro, Georgia USA 30460
Men's restroom, bottom floor

Make me a Taco Bitch!

Below writing in a different pen:

Okay, you're a Taco Bitch. Happy?

When you leave out the comma the meaning is not the same. English Majors tend to remind us of this.

Writing 330, via Joe

Circuit Court Montgomery County
Rockville, Maryland USA 20850
Men's restroom, 1st floor



Writing 326, via Ken

Barracks, Sheppard Air Force Base
Wichita Falls, Texas USA
Men's restroom, 1st floor

On the wall of the stall:

anybody can piss on the floor..to inpress me, be a hero and shit on the ceiling

And someone had thrown something brown up on the ceiling and then left this message:

OK. I'm a hero, now where's my medal!

This was back in 1971 and I thought it was funny as hell...

Writing 325, via Geoff

University of East Anglia
Science Block
Norwich UK NR4 7TJ
Men's restroom, 1st floor

I was visiting UEA (University of East Anglia) and found this gem on the wall of the stall.

Don't beam me up Scottie, I'm having a Sh

The thought of Jim squatting on the transporter pad just made me ache with laughter.

Writing 323, via Eddie

Australia Square
Men's restroom, 14th floor

Free Chile


With every hamburger

Writing 322, via Rick

Massachusetts Institute of Technology
Stratton Student Center
Cambridge, Massachusetts USA 02139
Men's restroom, ground floor

America lost its viginity in Viet Nam.
... and got the clap too.
hey, I got the clap in Viet Nam.
You should watch who you go out with.

Circa 1972. Each line in a different hand. Took several weeks to complete.

Writing 321, via Tim

Franklin High School, 300 building
Franklin, Virginia USA 23851
Men's restroom

Why are you staring at the wall.... the joke is in your hand

Creative for teenagers.

Writing 319, via Metrognome

Pasadena College
Pasadena, California USA 91755
Men's restroom

a man must have great ambition in life to have to write his name on the wall of a bathroom stall

I noticed this writen on the wall after i tagged my name... Made me think.

Writing 317, via Joe

George Washington Bus Terminal
New York, New York USA 10033
Men's restroom, 2nd floor

Written in a red sharpie:

"God is Dead" - Fred

Written in a black sharpie:

Fred is Dead,....GOD!

Probably means an atheist with no invisable [sic] means of support. :-)

My guess is that it don't pay to piss off God in the urinal.

[Note from a Stall visitor: "Fred" is referring to Frederick Nieztche, the philosopher, who said, "God is dead."]

Writing 315, via Chuck

Polaris Mall
Port-a-john during construction
Columbus, Ohio USA 43023
Men's restroom

OSHA regulation 42-2 : All turds over 6 inches must be hand lowered.

Safety is always an issue on large construction sites.

Writing 313, via Sam

Puff's Pub
Gresham, Oregon USA 97030
Men's restroom, 1st floor

Born On A Mountain,
Raised In A Cave,
Fuckin' And Truckin',
Is All I Crave.

Writing 312, via Paul

Litchfield Middle School
Litchfield, New Hampshire USA 03052
Men's restroom, only floor

Mike was here.

And below it...

No I wasn't.

Written above one of the urinals. It has since been painted over but I thought it was some creative thinking on the second writer's part.

Writing 306, via Cory

West Palm Beach, Florida USA 33418
Men's restroom, 1st floor

Here I sit, broken hearted. tried to shit, but only farted. later on i tried to fart, shit my pants and broke my heart.

Writing 305, via Jory

Hall Middle School
Weatherford, Texas USA 76086
Men's restroom, 1st floor

here i am im in a caper some one stole the toilet paper shall i sit here shall i linger or will i be forced to use my finger


Funny poem by the bathroom poet.

Writing 303, via Clark

San Antonio, Texas USA 78231
Men's restroom, 1st floor

Why change Dicks in the middle of a screw, Vote Nixon/Agnew for '72

Never new how true it would become...

Writing 302, via Mark

Fahrities Bar
Buffalo, New York USA 14221
Men's restroom, 1st floor

I fucked your mother!


Go home dad you're drunk!

One of my favorites now painted over.

Writing 301, via Mitch

Xenia, Ohio USA 45385
Men's restroom, only floor

Jesus Saves
Moses Invests
Abe Lincoln buys long-term bonds

An old one, with a new twist.

Writing 300, via Harley Ron

Filthy can at a truck stop on the road to Florida.
No idea [where]. I was just passing through...it was on the road to nowhere.
Men's restroom, 1st floor

You don't have to stand on the toilet seat.
The crabs in this place jump 40 feet!

There crabs fall off of olympic class athletes in that disgustingly filthy john?

Writing 299, via Harley Ron

Saloon in downtown MPLS. Torn down in the late 1990's
Minneapolis, Minnesota USA
Men's restroom

My mother made me a homosexual!
If I give her the wool, can she make me one too?

Writing 298, via Barry

Highway rest stop
Ewing, New Jersey USA 08638
Men's restroom, ground level

top line above urinal:
I'm 9" long and 3" wide,interested?
fascinated!! How big is your dick?

Found at a rest stop on I-10 between Baton Rouge and New Orleans (obviously a mecca for horny truck-drivers).

Writing 297, via Colin

Rose & Crown Pub
Merseyside, ENGLAND UK
Men's restroom, ground floor

with friends like these, who needs enemas?

I hate to imagine what went on in that toilet.

Writing 296, via Ed

Rusty Nail Supper Pub
Lodi, New Jersey USA 07026
Men's restroom, 1st floor

We aim to please, your aim will help

Writing 295, via Gerry

University of Wisconsin-Stevens Point
Communications Building
Stevens Point, Wisconsin USA 54481
Men's restroom, 1st floor

At the bottom of the stall door:

Beware of gay limbo dancers.

Gay awareness week is coming up at the University of Wisconsin Stevens Point.

Writing 294, via Jonathan

University of Nebraska-Lincoln
Brace Lab
Lincoln, Nebraska USA 68508
Men's restroom, 2nd floor

Ferrous wheel

There is a picture of a ferris wheel on the left stall wall, but instead of buckets to ride in, it just has Fe all around the wheel as in the chemical sybol for Iron. Not something you would expect when thinking about physics and you see something from chemistry.

Writing 293, via Richard

Gettysburg National Monument
Gettysburg, PA 17325 Men's restroom

If you can pee above this line (horizontal line set about 8 feet off the ground) join the Volunteer Fire Department.

All the graffiti (and there was quite a bit) BELOW that was smeared and runny. Obviously, a position on the VFD was highly sought-after.

Writing 292, via Steve

Houston, Texas USA 77042
Men's restroom

Same sex marriage?
All marriages are same sex marriages. The sex is the same every day.

That gay marriage is no different from hetero sexual marriage :-)

Writing 290, via Jeremy

Steamer Stop Shop (Top of Pikes Peak gift shop)
Manitou Springs, Colorado USA 80829
Men's restroom, floor: 1st floor

Here I sit, all broken hearted.
I thought I'd shit, instead I farted.

I saw this in the gift shop on top of Pikes Peak, an 14,115 foot high mountain in Colorado.

Writing 289, via Les

Ron Tonkin Lincoln-Mercury
Portland, Oregon USA 97230
Men's restroom, Service Area Restroom

Service Writer Bibs

Written on the seat cover dispenser.

Writing 288, via Chad

Oak Ridge High School
Oak Ridge, Tennessee USA 37716
Men's restroom, 2nd floor

They paint these walls to stop my pen.
But the Shit house poet has struck again.

Writing 286, via Tony

Puffs Pub
Gresham, Oregon USA 97080
Men's restroom, 1st floor

The Horse's ass walks both ways.

Writing 285, via Mike

University of Minnesota
Kolthoff Hall
Twin Cities, Minnesota USA 55455
Men's restroom, 1st floor

Flush twice- it's a long way to the cafeteria.

This is in regards to the dining hall food tasting terrible at times.

Writing 284, via Looie

Cheng Library
Wayne, New Jersey USA 07470
Men's restroom, floor: basement

i guess its not a secret any more!!

It's hard to find a good clean mens' room to drop your load, this one was amazing and noone knew about it. One day I was in there and someone walked in and saw that they couldn't go. "SHIT" was screamed. A few days later I saw this on the door.

Writing 283, via Looie

Hunziker Wing
Wayne, New Jersey USA 07047
Men's restroom, floor: first

i guess your taking a shit too.

This to the left of the door, I read it once I sat down and looked up. I definately smirked for a while.

Writing 282, via Rob

San Jose, CA, USA 97203
Men's restroom, 1st floor

Please don't throw your cigarette butts in the urinals...it makes them hard to smoke.

Just a funny message residing above the urinal.

Writing 281, via Anonymous

Chapman Road
Newark, Delaware USA 19702
Men's restroom, 2nd floor

Stand closer, it's shorter than you think.

Written on the package of seat covers next to the toilet. Long since removed.

Writing 280, via Ryan

Gas station
Greenville, South Carolina USA
Men's restroom, 1st floor

If you sprinkle when you tinkle, be a sweetie and wipe the seatie.
Don't put papie towels in the camode

Writing 279, via Mike

Grand Union Grocery store
Hopatcong, New Jersey USA 07843
Men's restroom

Those who write on these shithouse walls roll their shit in little balls. Those who read these words of wit eat those little balls of shit.

I saw this in a Grand Union Grocery store 15 or so years ago. I thought it was so funny at the time I still remember it.

Writing 278, via James

Tucson, Arizona USA 85715
Men's restroom, 1st floor

Here I sit in stinky vapor, somebody stole the toilet paper, here I will not stand... I'll hunt them down and use their hand.

Writing 277, via Scott

Ohio State University
University Hall
Columbus, Ohio USA 43210
Men's restroom, basement

On the seat cover dispenser:

Ass Gaskets

Writing 276, via Mikel

Vilionia Gas Station
Vilionia, Arkansas USA 72501
Men's restroom, floor: 1st floor

In black magic marker, it read, "Mexican Escape Hatch," with an arrow pointing down to the toilet bowl.

I loved this...I shared it with one of my friends and he loved it also. If I am ever back up that way I will take a picture of it.

Writing 275, via Daniel

Houston, Texas USA 77025
Men's restroom, 1st floor

On the floor:

look to the right!

To the right:

look to the left!

to the left:

look up!

On the celing:

damn your an idiot!!

Well I saw this and I was like really into it for a second..then when I read the ceiling I really did feel like an idiot. lmao

Writing 274, via Kerf

Jim Bridger Power Plant
Point of Rocks, Wyoming USA 82901
Men's restroom, ground floor

Letter to our Boss:
May the bleeding piles possess you; May the corns adorn your feet; May crabs as big as lobsters sit on your balls and eat; And, when you get old and weary, an encephaletic wreck; may your head fall through your asshole and break your fucking neck!
--With Love,
From-The Guys

I guess he wasn't the most pleasant boss to work for.

Writing 273, via Erik

The Cow Haus
Tallahassee, FL USA 32303
Men's restroom, 1st floor

Written with a sharpie:

I fucked your mom last night

Written below it with a different color sharpie (different handwriting as well):

Go home dad, you're drunk

Writing 271, via Tree

Burlington Bertie's Pub
Edinburgh, Scotland UK EH3
Men's restroom, ground floor

On condom machine.

Insert Baby for Refund

My top graffiti of all time!

Writing 270, via Mac

The Cave, a bar
Chapel Hill, North Carolina 27516
Men's restroom, basement

If it's yellow, let it mellow. If it's brown, flush it down.

Beneath that:

Flush it anyway hippie!

The Cave is a dingy, old, but well-loved bar in Chapel Hill. It is frequented by hippies and hippy-haters alike, hence the above exchange. Though not a hippy, I also let the yellow mellow.

Writing 269, via Culans

Restroom in Guadalupe Mountains National Park
Texas USA
Men's restroom, 1st floor

the pussy is a wonderful creature
all mangled and covered with hair
it looks like the face of a preacher
yet smells like the ass of a bear

I read this at the age of 10 and have remembered it eversince and that was almost 18 years ago. I remember it so well because I thought it was extremely strange.

Writing 268, via Masa

High School
Virginia USA
Men's restroom, 1st floor

Tic Tac Toe over the urinal

The way I figure it is when you are standing there doing nothing but urinating, it can sometimes get boring. That is what lead me to my ingenius game of Urinal Tic Tac Toe. I drew up a Tic Tac Toe board over the urinal and placed a big X in the middle square. I finished my business, zipped up, and left the bathroom. Next day I found an O in the bottom left corner of the Tic Tac Toe board.

Long Story short, I won at a game of Tic Tac Toe that took a week to finish.

Writing 267, via Dan

Emerson Jr Sr High School
Emerson, New Jersey USA 07630
Men's restroom, 1st floor

uoY kcuF

On the wall, opposite the mirror. It's been washed off since.

Writing 262, via Evan

Scratchers, a bar on 5th Street
New York, New York USA 10003
Men's restroom

I've fucked so many girls with a limp dick I could row a boat with a rope.

Writing 259, via Chris

University of Colorado
Engineering Building
Boulder, Colorado USA 80023
Men's restroom, ground floor


(And underneath it)

Very nice Albert, next time show your work

Written on the side of a stall, Albert Einstein's famous equation.

Writing 258, via Anonymous

Company next to UPS building
Warwick, Rhode Island USA 02886
Men's restroom, floor: ground floor

Record breaking shit in progress.

A co-worker used to spend hours in the stall reading, so I wrote this on the bathroom door. He never brought the book in the stall again.

Writing 257, via Lorenzo

Texas Tech University
University Library
Lubbock, Texas USA 76941
Men's restroom, 2nd floor

If we aren't supposed to eat meat...why are animals made of it?

Writing 256, via John

Portable toilet, construction site
Wilmington, North Carolina USA 28403
Men's restroom

Above the open tiolet with an arrow pointing down.

Mexican Bean Dip

Writing 255, via Mac

Local 506
Chapel Hill, North Carolina USA 27516
Men's restroom, 1st floor

Eat SHIT and DIE!
It's been done.

Just above the urinal.

The first line is scrawled drunkenly with black marker; the respone is written in green.

Lot of latrinalia on those walls.

Writing 249, via Johannes

Canal Walk
Cape Town SOUTH AFRICA 7500
Men's restroom, 2nd floor

Jack and Jill went up the hill to practice what he tought her.
Silly Jill forgot the pill and came down with a daughter.

Guess they didn't have condom vending machines on the hill...

Writing 248, via Johannes

Volunteer housing
Kibbutz Yad Mordechai ISRAEL 79145
Men's restroom, ground floor

The only place where all people are truly equal is in the toilet. Everyone's shit stinks. Viva the Republic of the Toilet!!

Writing 246, via Jim

The Chimes
Baton Rouge, Louisiana USA 70806
Men's restroom, 1st floor

Bomb Texas it has oil too!

Writing 245, via Joey

Fredericton, New Brunswick CANADA E3B 2D5
Men's restroom, 1st floor

Dear god, sorry for all the jerking, but if you'd send a little beaver my way once and a while I wouldn't have to, amen

Context and/or meaning: That says it all doesnt it?

Writing 244, via Stuart

A University Residence
Men's restroom, ground floor

Sometimes I sit and think. Sometimes I just sit.

Context and/or meaning: Only in Africa.

Writing 243, via Waleed

Men's restroom, 1st floor

a friend with pussy is a friend to fuck.

In other handwriting:

im your mothers friend.

Writing 242, via Joe

I drink too much SOUTH AFRICA
Men's restroom

Some come here to shit and stink,
and pick crabs off their balls.
I come here to sit, and think,
and write stuff on the walls.

A classic I saw looooong ago...

Writing 240, via Farmer

St. Alphonsus Main Building
Greendale, Wisconsin USA 53129
Men's restroom, 1st floor, near cafeteria

Fuck You
Very original
Thanks, learned it from Fr. Mike.
Is that ALL you learned?

Each line was done in alternating colors of ink; blue and black. This was years ago when I actually went to school there. Not sure if its still there.

Writing 239, via Andrew

Men's restroom

Above a men's urinal:

We aim to please. You aim too, please!

Writing 238, via Matthew

Kwazulu-Natal, Johannesburg SOUTH AFRICA
Men's restroom, 1st floor

Drugs, sex, alcohol, speed, weed, birth control, life's a bitch and then you die so fuck the world and lets get high!

Writing 237, via disgusdd

A school
Western Province SOUTH AFRICA 7130
Men's restroom

Diablo loves u!
No...he just wants 2 get into your pants!

The second sentence was just beneath the other. Both were in different hand writings and pen colour.

Writing 236, via Robert

Lifeboat Inn (pub)
Hayling Island UK PO11
Men's restroom, ground floor

These pineapple chunks taste funny.

Yellow cubed toilet deoderisers in the urinals.

Writing 235, via Robert

Lifeboat Inn
Hayling Island UK PO11
Men's restroom, ground floor

Jesus saves fallen women.


Ask him to save me one

Typical lifeboat crew humour. Probably painted over by now.

Writing 231, via Ballas

Summerstrand Shopping Centre
Port Elizabeth, South Africa 6001
Men's restroom, floor: Ground Floor

(On door inside toilet)

Look left

(On left side of stall)

Look right

(On right side of stall)

Look behind you

(Written on wall behind toilet)


This was written inside the stalls about 3 years ago. I don't think it's there anymore...

Writing 230, via Steve

A couple of Road Houses across the Nullarbor Plain
South Australia, Australia
Men's restroom

Would the person with the V8 Arse please shit in first gear as this toilet is not equiped with mudflaps

Writing 229, via Roadtoad

Bowling alley
Folsom, California USA 95660
Men's restroom, 1st floor

Machine broken. Beat it.

Next to condom machine.

Writing 228, via Stanislav

Oberlin College
North Hall Men's Dorm
Oberlin OH USA 44074
Men's restroom, 2nd floor


This one word set off an orgy of stall scribbling. The next day, someone wrote underneath the above: "gravitate." Then someone added "pontificate." Pretty soon these were followed by "ameliorate," "exacerbate," etc. -- you name it. (I swear I think guys were taking dictionaries and thesaruses into the crapper just to participate -- hey, there's another one!)

Eventually, a janitor scrubbed the vocabulary lesson clean. The next day, someone defiled the now blank canvas with a long tirade in indelible black marker, starting out "Hey, Drano-breath..." and using a selection of colorful metaphors to assail the janitor's manhood, his mother, and various parts of his anatomy, and warning him that he would suffer the fate of the Ti-D-Bowl man if he dared to censor us again.

Writing 227, via Mark

University of Washington
Health Sciences Building
Seattle, WA 98195
Men's restroom, 1st

Look like Sir Walter Raleigh!
Wear this free dickey!

Written on toilet seat liner dispenser.

Writing 226, via Earl

Science Building
Waterloo, Ontario
Men's restroom

the angle of the dangle is equal to the mass of the ass providing the heat of the meat remains constant

I read this many years ago and taking it from memory.

Writing 225, via Joe

UC Berkeley
Philosophy Bldg.
Berkeley, California 94720
Men's restroom

To do is to be. Aristotle
To be is to do. Plato
Do Be Do Be Do. Sinatra

This was scrawled in the grout of a tile wall about 1973. I suppose it has meaning, it was after all in the right building.

Writing 224, via Fuzzy

Restaurant, now closed
Kansas City, Missouri USA 64114
Men's restroom, basement

Here's where Napoleon beat his bonapart

Writing 222, via Davis

Wayne State University
Shaver Music Building
Detroit Michigan 48201
Men's restroom, 2nd floor

Here I sit,
Broken Hearted
Came to shit,
and only Farted.

In someone else's handwriting:

Here I sit
Am Elated!
Came to shit,

Writing 221, via Stonesy

Seaton, UK
Men's restroom, ground floor

Some come here to sit and think,
Some come here to shit and stink.
I came here to scratch my balls,
And you read writing on the wall

An existentialist exposition on various reasons why people end up in the toilet stall.

Writing 219, via Speed Shitter

University of Massachusetts Amherst
Baker House
Amherst, Massachusetts USA 01003
Men's restroom, 2nd floor

The world-famous and AAA-approved Stall 7 in Baker house was covered in doggerel circa 1990. Most of it was unremarkable, but two spring to mind immediately. First:

You shithouse poets
Are sons of bitches -
While I stood here reading,
I shit my britches!

And the source of the foulest nickname I've held thus far:

Even as I write this, Speed Shitter has come and gone in Stall 5.

Writing 217, via Steve

Lou's Tavern on Hickory Street
Denton, Texas USA 76201
Men's restroom, 1st floor


Written underneath, different handwriting:

That is very nice Einstein, next time show your work.

Writing 215, via Damien

Caruso's restaurant
Dallas, Texas USA
Men's restroom, 1st floor

Above urinal (each line in a different pen and writing):

People who write on restroom walls are sick!
I've got the clap.
I've got toenail fungus.
I've got dementia.

(And the last line is surrounded by musical notes.)

I got rhythm!

Writing 214, via Why Me

Several upstate NY bars
New York, New York USA 12590
Men's restroom, 1st floor

Roses are Red
Violets are black
I love her best
When she's flat on her back

Writing 213, via Bubba

Western Kentucky University
Religious Studies Dept.
Bowling Green, Kentucky 42101
Men's restroom, 3rd floor

I'm a Christian, but i thought this would be funny to write in response to all of the "Christian graffitti" on the stalls.

Jesus saves,
Satan spends,
and Buddha compounds annually

Writing 212, via Josh

Jewish Theological Seminary (JTS)
New York, New York USA 10027 Men's restroom

Over a urinal:

The future of the Jewish people is in your hand.

Writing 211, via Stan

School of Visual Arts
Main Building
New York, New York USA 10010
Men's restroom, 3rd floor

Lettuce sucks

Writing 210, via Jon

Tablerock Brewpub
Boise, Idaho 83702
Men's restroom, 1st floor

Sticker above the button to the hot air hand dryer in the men's bathroom reads:


Writing 209, via Kenny

Guilford College
Milner Hall
Greensboro, North Carolina 27410
Men's restroom, 2nd floor

Do not preceve people as though they are different. Beneath our skin we are all the same.

Underneath, I wrote:

Beneath our skin we are fleshy and taste good with ketchup.

Writing 208, via Anonymous

Portland, Oregon 97205
Men's restroom, 1st floor

Here I sit broken-hearted,
Tried to shit, but only farted!

Writing 207, via Anonymous

The State University of New York
Purchase Dorms
Purchase, New York USA 10577
Men's restroom, 1st floor

I will not serve.
We will; serve.
-Flik [University's food service provider]
You're hired.

Written by three students unknown to each other.

Writing 206, via Anonymous

University of Waterloo
Math Building
Waterloo, Ontario Canada N2L 4V1
Men's restroom, 2nd floor

What would you do if I said I shot a load on the toilet seat.

Written underneath:

I would say the toilet seat and your mom have alot in common.

Writing 205, via Jeff

General Motors assembly plant
Oshawa, Ontario Canada L1H8P7
Men's restroom

I may not be going up the world, but I'll sure as fuck go down on your little brother.

Writing 204, via Erik

Virginia Commonwealth University
Old VCU Sculpture Department (now demolished)
Richmond, Virginia USA
Men's restroom, 1st floor

Sculptors wash their hands before they go to the bathroom. - Carlton Newton

Writing 203, via Bjeebus

St. Francis Xavier Elementary School
Brampton, Ontario CANADA L6W 2J8
Men's restroom, 2nd floor

Here I Sit Broken Hearted
Paid A Dime, But Only Farted
Next Time I'll Just Take My Chance
Save My Dime, And Shit My Pants

Writing 202, via Johnny

Pacific Lutheran University
Hong Hall
Tacoma, Washington USA 98447
Men's restroom, 3rd Floor

Sic transit faeces.

Janitor's (rough) translation: "Thus passes feces" or fecal matter.

Writing 201, via Brian

Gift shop near Bandon
Oregon, California USA
Men's restroom, 1st floor

I've seen quite a few, but this one stuck with me from a road trip up the coast:

Mary had a little sheep
and with that sheep she went to sleep
But it turned out to be a ram
and Mary had a little lamb

Writing 200, via Jackson

Some bar, a long time ago
Kennesaw, Georgia USA 30144
Men's restroom, 1st floor

Someone wrote:

Jesus Saves.

I wrote:

Jackson flushes.

Writing 199, via Jackson

Some building at Georgia Tech
Atlanta, Georgia USA30103
Men's restroom

Scientists have put cameras in the stalls to study your actions.

Writing 198, via Ed

Unknown/possibly Grand Central Station
New York, NY USA
Men's restroom

This is a teepee
to make your peepee
No a wigwam
to beat your tom-tom

Writing 197, via Jon

Justice Department and other bathrooms in public law enforcement buildings
Bend, Oregon USA 97701
Men's restroom, floor: 1st

For GOOD, HOT Phone Sex, Dial 911

Writing 196, via Jon

Can't remember the name of the restaurant
Ashland, Oregon USA 97520
Men's restroom

A quote by Shakespeare (The Tempest?) found written in a bathroom stall:

Cease thy windy argument and let the matter drop

Note: Ashland Oregon is a College town and the home of the Shakespearean festival, so this is fairly typical wit for this town.

Writing 195, via Jon

Wagner's Mall
Bend, Oregon USA 97701
Men's restroom

Someone, obviously a gay guy had written,

I need a blowjob

In response sombody else, obviously a christian type had written,

No you need Jesus.

I supplied the punchline:

No, I need Jesus to give me a blow-job.

No sense of humor. All hell broke out for weeks between warring factions in this particular bathroom shared by gays and jesusfreaks alike. Finally management stepped in and had the bathroom walls redone with a material, some kind of bumpy stuff that made graffiti writing nearly impossible.

Writing 193, via Apeiron

University of Washington
Engineering Building
Seattle, Washington USA 98105
Men's restroom, 1st floor

1. In
2. Out
Repeat if necessary

Writing 191, via Anonymous

In a truck stop near Indianapolis, IN.
Indianapolis, Indiana USA
Men's restroom, 1st floor

From memory, in an uncomfortably small stall:

So, this is what it's like to drive a day-truck.

Day-trucks are the ones without a bed in the back, and you're a few feet from the windshield, without an engine in front of you.

Writing 188, via Jeff

Riverside Park (now Six Flags)
Agawam, Massachusetts USA 01101
Men's restroom, 1st floor

At the top of the stall wall, about nine feet up. (I'm 6'3" and it was out of my reach)

Tall People Rule

Writing 186, via Adam

Martha's Vineyard Airport
Martha's Vineyard, MA 02575
Men's restroom, 1st floor

In one of the stalls, someone had writen, in magic marker:

"Hello, Max."

Beneath this, someone else responded:

"Hello, douchebag."

Writing 185, via Anonymous

Signs of the Tarot Coffeehouse (now closed)
Denver, Colorado USA 80210
Unisex restroom

Two items I'll never forget, even though this place closed in the late '70's. First, this tryptych, which I always found Zen:

Time is money.

(New handwriting.)

Money talks.

(New handwriting.)

Talk is cheap.

And then this:

Be sure to read the amazing new book: "Scientology, the Science of the Modern Elf," by Elrond Cubbard

Writing 184, via Ben

Rendezvous Cafe
Ann Arbor, Michigan, U.S. 48104
Unisex restroom, 2nd floor

Above all, seek happiness.

In different handwriting, with an arrow:

That's not possible - to 'seek' happiness.

Writing 183, via Flimbag

Public toilets, Crosby
Merseyside, UK L23
Men's restroom

Original graffiti:

My wife is desperate to take nine inches. Please leave phone number.


I've only got four and a half, but I'd be happy to give it to her twice.

Writing 181, via Stalin

Circle Bar
New Orleans, Louisiana USA 70130
Men's restroom

If the world didn't suck we would all fly away.

Writing 180, via JC

Big Bend National Park
The Basin Campground
Texas USA
Men's restroom

Texas is a mirror

And underneath that, I wrote this:

No it isn't

Writing 179, via Michael

Columbia, South Carolina USA 29205
Men's restroom, 2nd

Vote Whig.
Jeff's mama is the square root of food.

Writing 178, via Morgan

University of Virginia
Physics Building
Charlottesville, Virginia USA 22902
Men's restroom, 2nd

Heisenberg may have been here.

Context: Heisenberg was a physicist famous for his uncertainty principle in quantum physics.

Writing 177, via Morgan

University of Virginia
Cabell Hall (Music Building)
Charlottesville, Virginia USA 22902
Men's restroom, basement

I just took a modal shit - it was kind of blue.

Context - Miles Davis's famous modal jazz album is called "Kind of Blue."

Writing 176, via Eric

Turf Club
St. Paul, MN 55104
Men's restroom, floor: Main floor


Above a men's urinal.

Writing 175, via CJP

Seattle Washington USA 98102
Men's restroom, floor: 1

I fucked your mom.
Go home Dad, you're drunk.

Writing 174, via CCC

Los Medanos College
Pittsburg CA 94565
Men's restroom, 1st floor

On the condom machine above the urinal:

This gum tastes funny

Writing 173, via Mike

Unidentified bar
Carbondale, Illinois USA 61614
Men's restroom, 1st floor

In ink:

My mother made me a homosexual

Someone penciled in underneath:

If I send her the wool, will she make me one?

Writing 172, via John

Leeds University
Michael Sadler Building
Leeds UK LS2 9JT
Men's restroom, basement

I like her but she doesn't like me back


Why, is it hairy?

('Me' is another way of saying 'my' in England)

Writing 170, via Abdul

Pink Elephant Tavern
Salem, Oregon USA 97301
Men's restroom, 1st floor

If Pi continues forever and ever,
Then all things can be mathematically described in the numbers of which it consists, at some point.
Therefore, all things worth knowing exist happily within a circle.

Funnily, so do my stoner friends.

And in Joel's #158, "mispelled" is misspelled. Ha! Stupid cunsirvotives! These words have been intentionally misspelled. :)

Janitor's note: Thanks for the heads up Abdul. We are indeed fallible.

Writing 169, via Anonymous

University of Oregon
Ceramics Building
Eugene, Oregon USA 97403
Men's restroom, 1st floor

A series, completed by different writers over the course of about a year (in chronological order, if memory serves):

May you arrive in heaven ten minutes before the devil knows you're dead - Irish toast
Slice of bread
couple eggs
- French toast
Gezondheid - German Toast
cinn. & sugar
pat o' butter
- cinnamon toast
Chug! Chug! Chug!
- American toast

Writing 168, via Mohamad

University of Minnesota
Lind Hall
Minneapolis, Minnesota USA 55414
Men's restroom, basement

Written somewhere very close to the toilet paper rolls on the wall:

Get your College of Liberal Arts diploma here.

Writing 167, via John

Bear's Place
Bloomington, Indiana USA 47401
Men's restroom, 1st floor

Lee Pike is a logical positivist

Writing 166, via JC

The Blue Racoon (a famous blues bar that closed last year)
Marietta, Georgia USA 30060
Men's restroom, 1st

compassion is a virus.

Writing 163, via Hippu

Puerto Rico
Men's restroom

Reported by a friend.

Written on a hand-dryer that illustrated hot air with wavy lines:

1) Place hands under nozzle
2) Receive bacon

Writing 162, via SB

San Jose State Dorms
San Jose, California USA 95147
Men's restroom, 7th

If you sprinkle when you tinkle, be a sweety and wipe the seaty!

Writing 160, via DB

Stockton College
Pomona, New Jersey USA 08240
Women's restroom, 1st floor

One person had written their initials and someone else's initials in a heart with an arrow through it. Beneath it someone else wrote:

If you love your boyfriend, have some taste, don't write their name while you piss.

Writing 158, via Joel

University of Pennsylvania
College Hall
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania USA 19104
Men's restroom, 1st floor

Not all leberals are assholes--only most of them

Janitor's note: I could actually take offense to this writing if the word liberals wasn't mispelled misspelled.

Writing 157, via Jamie

University of Toronto
Hart House gym
Toronto, Ontario CANADA M5S 3J3
Men's restroom, basement

A reference to former Toronto Maple Leaf hockey star Dave Keon. Writer claims this to be a form of memetics but I don't see it. BTW, last I heard, Keon was living in Florida.

But Keon scores!
Where is Keon now?

Writing 156, via Trev

Canada V6K 1L2
Men's restroom, 1st floor

I fucked your mother!

Written underneath in different handwriting:

Go home dad, you're drunk!

Janitor's note: Repeat, but still just as funny.

Writing 155, via P Pruett

New Orleans, Louisiana USA 70115
Men's restroom

in New Orleans,
whisky is the water,
food is the earth,
music is the wind,
and sex be the fire!

Writing 152, via Anonymous

Franklin Pierce College library
Rindge, New Hampshire USA 03461
Men's restroom, 1st floor

In days of old
when knights were bold
and toilets not invented,
They left their load upon the road
and walked away contented.

Writing 151, via Timmy

Near US Army Airborne School
Men's restroom, floor: Ground Floor

On the back door of the stall:

Troops in the door... under it, ...they must have drowned.

Writing 150, via Toby

5 Story Walk Up
London, England UK
Men's restroom, 4th floor

Toilet Broken, Use Floor Below...

Writing 149, via Dan

Joe's Crab Shack
Akron, Ohio USA 49428
Men's restroom, 1st floor

Official sign mounted over urinal:

Please don't throw toothpicks into the urinal. Our crabs have learned to pole vault.

Writing 148, via Jessica

California relay headquarters (where they process deaf telephone telephone calls via TTY)
Riverbank, California USA 95355
Men's restroom

deaf people R R friends

Writing 147, via Omegar

University of Salamanca
History and Geography Faculty
Salamanca, SPAIN 37071
Men's restroom, floor: 2nd Floor

La Vida es una Barca
Firma: Calderón de la Mierda

Life is a Boat
Signed: Calderón of the Shit

("Calderón de la Barca" is a very famous writer of plays of the Spanish Golden Century period, among those "La Vida es Sueño" or "Life is a Dream". Barca is Spanish for Boat.)

Writing 146, via Patrick

Chalmers, House M
SWEDEN 41200
Men's restroom, 2nd floor

Sluta klottra på väggarna!


...annars tar vi bort dem


"Stop writing on the wall"


"... or the walls will be removed"

A common thing in Sweden to say you remove everything a child messes with...

Writing 145, via Cholling

Chelsea's Cafe'
Baton Rouge, Louisiana 70820
Men's restroom

George Bush plans to legalize weed through secret time capsule dimensions!

Writing 144, via Cholling

Mississippi State University
Carpenter Hall
Starkville, Mississippi USA 39762
Men's restroom, basement

You can't beat good pussy.

Below, in different handwriting:

Sure you can, just ask Ike Turner.

Writing 143, via Jesper

Hamburg Messe
Men's restroom, 1st floor

On the toilet door, hanging 25 centimeters above the floor:

Beware of limbo dancers

Writing 142, via Alan

Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute (circa 1963)
Freshman dorm
Troy, New York USA 12181
Men's restroom

Flush twice; it's a long way to the Freshman Dining Room....

A lot like one of the others on your site, but i recall this one very clearly. :)

Writing 141, via Anonymous

University of Minnesota
Minneapolis, Minnesota USA
Men's restroom

The painters job was all in vain
The shithouse poet stikes again

Writing 140, via Anonymous

Botany Building
Minneapolis, Minnesota USA
Men's restroom, basement

From memory. Many many moons ago.

Someone in here smells like a bus

Writing 137, via Franklin

Bear Pit BBQ Restaurant
Mission Hills, California USA 91345
Men's restroom, 1st floor

Written on toilet seat liner dispenser:

BUSH 2004

Writing 136, via Steffen

General Dynamics Bldg 4
Pomona, California USA 91765
Men's restroom, next to machine shops

In first handwriting:

Why do I shit?

Response in different handwriting:

To give the company back what they give me.

Writing 135, via Anonymous

Doc Ryan's Pub
Salem, Massachusetts USA 02144
Men's restroom, 1st floor

Mr. Cheese is Unknowable

Janitor's note: WTF?

Writing 134, via Chris

University of Colorado
Engineering Building
Boulder, Colorado USA 80309
Men's restroom, 1st floor

Very nice Albert, next time show your work.

Writing 133, via Anonymous

Can't remember
I saw it somewhere, honest
Men's restroom, floor: But really

A variation on Writing 55:

Here I sit
Cheeks a flexin'
Just gave birth
To another Texan

Writing 132, via Anonymous

The Taphouse
Oberlin Ohio USA 44074
Men's restroom

I feel more like I do now than I did when I got here.

Writing 131, via Keith

Software Company
Chelmsford, Massachusetts USA 01824
Men's restroom, 3rd floor

Written on the grout of a tiled bathroom stall in a software company:

I just took a non-virtual dump.

Writing 129, via Anonymous

Restaurant bathroom
West Hollywood, California USA 90046
Men's restroom, 1st floor

Limit one per customer.

Writing 127, via Curt

Janitor's note: Location unknown. Don't take this as an example folks; we like to have as much information about the locations of writings as possible (one day we may create a localization database).

The funniest grafitti I have ever read in a men's room...found immediately above a urinal with pink air fresheners in the bowl:

Please don't eat the mints.

Writing 126, via ShAmPi

Dancing Cirque Mistique
Aalst BELGIUM 9300
Men's restroom, 2nd floor

(Printed sign)

Drink met mate

Then in black marker n, geen liters bier maar vaten added, which makes:

Drink met maten, geen liters beer maar vaten


Printed sign: Drink with ease
Added text: Drink with friends, not liters of beer but barrels

Writing 124, via Henrik

Ehrensvärdska gymnasiet
Karlskrona, Blekinge SWEDEN 371 32
Unisex restroom, 1st floor

100 miljarder flugor kan inte ha fel, skit luktar gott.

Translation: 100 billion flies can't be wrong, shit smells good.

Writing 123, via Ceph

Rice University
Vahalla, Graduate Student Lounge
Houston, Texas USA 77006

On the wall many years ago:

Profanity is the linguistic crutch of inarticulate mother fuckers

Writing 122, via Matt

College of Saint Rose
Music Building
Albany, New York USA 12203
Men's restroom, 1st floor

Top euphemism for taking a shit:

Bombing Iraq

Writing 121, via Falconwing

Chalmers Univ. of Technology
Göteborg SWEDEN
Men's restroom, ground floor

Den som säger att sex är det skönaste som finns har aldrig varit riktigt, riktigt skitnödig.

Translation: Anyone who says, that nothing feels better than sex, has never needed really, really bad to take a crap.

Followup in different handwriting:

Vad är det för skönt med att vara skitnödig?

Translation: What feels so good about walking around needing to take a crap?

Writing 120, via D Wallsten

Havde Barracks 18th Mechanized Infantry Regiment Island of Gotland
Visby, Gotland SWEDEN 41100
Men's restroom, 1st floor

Gotland, Ön som gud glömde, Satan inte ville ha och som Försvarsmakten köpte för en spottstyver

Translation: Gotland, The island that god forgot about, Satan rejected, and the Swedish Armed Forces bought real cheap

Writing 119, via Superswede

Men's restroom

This was written on the inside of the stall door.

In large writing:

If you can read this is your sight is average.

Slightly smaller:

If you can read this you have pretty good eyes.

Really small:

If you can read this you have sight like an eagle.

Super small:

If you can read this you are shitting on the floor.

Writing 118, via Joe

University of Sussex
Computer Science building
Falmer, Brighton UK BN1 9RH
Men's restroom

First line:

man battlestations


no manual entry for battlestations

Writing 115, via Anonymous

Denver Business College
Colorado USA 80221
Men's restroom, 3rd floor

Here I sit
broken hearted,
Came to shit
but only farted.

Writing 114, via Avarunyo

Lava / Kulturhuset
Stockholm SWEDEN 127 46
Men's restroom, 2nd floor

Two beer,
or not two beer.

Writing 113, via Joakim

Amadeus bar
Västerås SWEDEN 72477
Men's restroom, basement

On the wall behind the toilet is an arrow pointing to the right, followed by more arrows pointing the same direction, then when turned around facing the toilet door entry on the door says (in Swedish):

Now your peeing outside!

The bar is now out of business.

Writing 112, via Youngers

Queen's University Belfast
Main Library
Men's restroom, 7th floor

On toilet roll holder:

Humanities degrees, please take one!

Writing 111, via Nils

Millitary WC
Halmstad SWEDEN
Men's restroom, 2nd floor

Just above the toilet: ^
A little higher: ^
A little higher still: ^
Almost by the ceiling: "You are pissing on the rim"

Writing 110, via Moppion

Stockholm / School
Stockholm SWEDEN 1160
Men's restroom, 2nd floor

Just at eye-height when taking a pee:

Real men stand up when they pee.

At eye-height when turning the other way to take a dump:

Real men sit down when they crap!

Writing 109, via Dan

Stockholm / Razzastan
Stockholm SWEDEN 11160
Men's restroom, 1st floor

By some anarchist:

Ifrågasätt allt!

(Question everything!)

Below, in different handwriting:



Writing 108, via Anders

Carolina Rediviva
Uppsala SWEDEN 75999
Men's restroom, floor: 1st floor

This is the university library where many of the students go to cram for their exams.

On the wall in the mens room one can read:

Det är aldrig för sent att ge upp!

Which translates to:

It is never too late to give up!

Writing 107, via Per

Stockholms University
Stockholm SWEDEN 10691
Men's restroom, 1st floor

"kommer strax" Godot

Translation: "be right back" Godot

Writing 105, via Kalle

Men's restroom


Om jag kunde skita guld
skulle jag betal all min skuld
och aldrig mer köpa på krita
utan bara sitta här och SKITA

English - not very good ryhme, though:

If I could shit gold
I would pay all my debt
and never again buy on credit
but sit her and SHIT.

Writing 103, via Tristan

Tredegar House (circa 1992)
Wales UK NP10 8YW
Men's restroom, ground floor

This toilet paper is like the SAS
-it's tough, rough, and it takes no shit.

(The paper in question was of that nasty 'greaseproof' variety, popular in low class public toilets throughout the early 90s.)

Janitor's note: I believe SAS stands for Special Air Service, but I could be wrong.

Writing 102, via ANders

Carolina Rediviva
Uppsala, Sweden 23234
Men's restroom, 1st floor

  1. Jag vill knulla min flickvän i stjärten!
  2. Jag med!
  3. Jag har redan knullat din flickvän i stjärten.

Translation to English:

  1. I want to fuck my girlfriend in the ass!
  2. Me too!
  3. I've already fucked your girlfriend in the ass.

Janitor's note: Although this one is quite vulgar, it just goes to show that even sexual desire can be mainstream/universal. Or maybe I'm just reading too much into pathetic toilet humor.

Writing 101, via Anonymous

Men's restroom

Here I sit and hesitate,
should I shit or masturbate.

Writing 98, via Niklas

Toalett vid lorensberg
Göteborg SWEDEN 41256
Men's restroom


Translation from Kristian: The worst thing I know is a restroom poet (wall writers).

Janitor's note: This is now my favorite entry. :)

Writing 96, via Pinealman

California Institute of the Arts, main building
Valencia, California USA 91335
Men's restroom, 1st floor (across from the Gamelan room)

We eat their ideology and it's our conscience we're shitting...
make your own mold or be forced into one...

Writing 95, via Ian

Harmony CANADA (?)
Men's restroom

To be is to do.

To do is to be.

Do be do be do.

Writing 94, via Adam

Ohio University, Ellis Hall
Athens, Ohio USA 45701
Men's restroom, 3rd floor

First line:

Anyone who is not in a frat is a tool!

Second line reply

A tool of what, my friend? You are a member of a sexist, elitist, anachronistic organization dedicated to the repression and exclusion of minorities. You, my friend, are a tool - of THE MAN!

Writing 93, via Qix

Truck Stop
Billings, Montana USA 59102
Men's restroom

Here I sit, buns-a-flexin
Givin birth to another Texan

Writing 92, via Chuck

Shooter's Pub
Nashua, NH 03060
Men's restroom, 1st floor

What are you looking up here for when the joke is in your hand?

Writing 91, via Ken

Carnegie Mellon University, Wean Hall
Pittsburgh Pennsylvania USA 15213
Men's restroom, floor: 4th floor

Death - Taxes - Jazz

Writing 90, via Brett

Student Union SUNY at Stony Brook
Stony Brook, New York USA 11797
Men's restroom, 2nd floor

Context: The name of the university president was John Toll

What's another name for a pay toilet?

Writing 88, via Dark Exarch

Los Angeles, California USA
Men's restroom, 1st floor


Underneath in different handwriting.

The devil poops?

Underneath in a third handwriting.

Where do you think Republicans come from?

Writing 87, via Dark Exarch

Highland High School Building 8
Bakersfield, California USA 93306
Men's restroom, 1st floor

Scrawled atop a urinal:

Standing room only.

Writing 86, via Carl-Johan

Umeå University Library
Umeå, Sweden SE-901 87
Men's restroom, 1st floor

Spola två gånger, det är långt till McDonalds.

Translated: "Flush twice, McDonalds is far away." This is a city with quite a lot of vegans and vegetarians.

Writing 85, via Josh

Salty Dog Saloon
Gainesville, Florida USA 32601
Men's restroom, ground floor

Found years ago:

Love is like a snowmobile racing across the tundra;
It flips and pins you to the ground.
At night the ice weasels come.

Addendum from Morgan: This is from a Matt Groening (creator of the Simpsons) comic book called "Love is Hell."

Writing 84, via Steve

Warehouse Bar and Grill
Tallahassee, Florida USA 32302
Men's restroom, 1st floor


Writing 83, via Toby

The Buckaroo
Seattle, Washington USA 98103
Men's restroom

Ontogeny recapitulates phylogeny.

Writing 82, via C.M.

Union Station
Los Angeles, California USA 90026
Men's restroom, ground floor

On inside of stall door, at eye level of sitter:

"How about a little toilet tennis (look left)"

On left wall:

"Look right"

On right wall:

"Look left"

Writing 81, via Kevin

Red Barn
Peoria, Illinois USA 61606
Men's restroom

Anyone can piss on the floor...
It takes a real man to shit on the ceiling!

Writing 80, via Mass

Wiess College
Houston, Texas USA 77030
Men's restroom, 1st floor

She offered her honor
He honored her offer
Before you knew it
He was on her and off her

AND, my favorite:

I just shat a Boston Celtic!

Writing 79, via Anonymous

Buddy's Restaurant, late 80s?
Pocatello, Idaho USA 83201
Men's restroom 1st floor

i fucked in Italy,
i fucked in Spain;
i fucked all along the coast of Maine.
but i'll never be happy,
i'll never be free,
until i fuck the Army,
like they fucked me.

Writing 78, via M Shire

UC Theatre
Berkeley California USA 94704
Men's restroom, 1st floor

At the UC theatre in Berkeley (before it closed) there were a bunch of writings in the grout between the tiles on the wall that were puns on grout and tiles.

Among them:

Tony the Tiler says "It's Grout".
The grout, the bad, and the ugly.
Grout expectations.

Writing 77, via Anonymous

The Hub
Tampa, Florida USA 33611
Men's restroom, ground floor

I fucked your mother.


Go home dad, you're drunk.

Writing 76, via Anonymous

Gas station
Billings, Montana USA 59101
Men's restroom, ground floor

The hand dryer bore the familiar instructions:

1. Push button.
2. Wipe hands briskly under hot air on pants.

Writing 75, via Swamp Thing

60 Bloor West
Toronto, Ontario CANADA
Men's restroom, 16th floor

A one-liner, followed by a one-line response in different pen:

My karma just ran over your dogma.
That was zen. This is tao.

Writing 74, via Swamp Thing

60 Bloor West
Toronto, Ontario CANADA
Men's restroom, 16th floor

No matter how many times you bang you head against the wall, the hole will only get so big.

Writing 73, via Headzero

Phill's Pub
Sioux Falls, South Dakota USA 57104
Men's restroom, 1st floor

I feel more like I do now than when I got here.

Writing 72, via Fluffy

Dormitory, New Mexico Tech
Socorro, New Mexico USA 87801
Men's restroom, 1st floor

Those who write upon these walls
Roll their shit into little balls
Those who read these words of wit
Eat these little balls of shit

Janitor's note: Repeat, but at a new location.

Writing 70, via Bolix

Condom Machine in The Field pub
Cambridge, Massachusetts USA 02138
Men's restroom, 1st floor

For Refund, insert baby.

Writing 69, via Doyle

Reed College pool hall
Portland, Oregon USA 97202
Men's restroom, basement

I want Pete Townshend to smash my guitar


Homosexuals were invented for an episode of Barney Miller

Writing 68, via Wanderlust

Seadog Brewery
Camden, Maine USA 04843
Men's restroom, 1st floor


Someone later added:


Janitor's note: Repeat of an older writing, but at a different location.

Writing 67, via Joe

Hole in the Wall
Austin, Texas USA 78705
Men's restroom

No matter how good she looks right now.
Is sick of her shit.

Writing 66, via Eric

A friend's local pub toilet.
England UK
Men's restroom, 1st floor

immigrants go home

Which was pretty nasty, but you had to laugh at the second part which someone had added.

and stop eating our swans

Writing 65, via Joe Joe

Levering Hall, Johns Hopkins University
Baltimore, Maryland USA 21218
Men's restroom, 2nd floor

Men's room stall, above the toilet paper dispenser:

"Johns Hopkins diplomas. Please take one."

(Don't know if it's still there.)

Writing 63, via Matt

Rec. Center Locker Room
Boulder, Colorado USA 80309
Men's restroom, 1st floor

John 3:16

Below that different writing.

Mark 3:27 - Must have just missed you

Writing 62, via Mike

Armadillo Restaurant
Akron, Ohio USA 44311
Men's restroom, basement

First writer:


Added below in a diffferent hand:


Writing 61, via Sammy

Birraporretti's on West Gray
Houston, Texas USA 77007
Men's restroom, 1st floor

Life is like a dick
When it's soft you can't beat it
But when it's hard
Somebody is going to get fucked

Writing 60, via Mad Cow

Decatur, Georgia USA 30030 Men's restroom, 1st floor.

Written on picture of early 20th Century beer poster showing two german maids getting beer from a keg in glass mugs:

I drink your piss

This was erased after a couple of months. Then a week or two laters someone wrote in the same spot...

I still do.

Writing 59, via Slippy

277 Gladstone
Toronto, Ontario CANADA M5A 3C9
Men's restroom, 1st floor.

Have you seen my monkey?
I wish I was you.

Writing 58, via Anonymous

Wesleyan University
Music Practice Studios
Middletown, Connecticut 06459
Men's restroom, bottom floor

If I had a chipmunk for every time someone pissed on the floor, I'd be rich.

Writing 57, via Anonymous

Unkown academic building at Cornell University
Ithaca, New York USA
Men's restroom

An oldie but goodie from the Reagon/Mondale presidential campaign:

Vote for Tits and Fritz
Not for Tush and Bush

Writing 55, via Euroderf

Finnish film archive
Helsinki FINLAND 00100
Men's restroom, ground floor

(suomen elokuva-arkiston miestenvessassa)
Here I sit,
Landing a pooper,
Giving birth
To a Texas state trooper

Writing 54, via SeaDog

The Travelling Mage
Gainesville, Florida 32608
Men's restroom, 1st floor

Jesus Saves, and takes half damage.

(It's a now closed gaming store and it's a D&D reference)

Writing 53, via SeaDog

Building: Harry's Seafood
Gainesville, Florida USA 32605
Men's restroom, 1st floor

Refuse Haldol.

Writing 52, via Mike

Milwaukee, Wisonsin USA 53201
Men's restroom, 1st street

Due to pressure from certain fundamentalist religious groups, New Hampshire is changing its State Motto from "Live Free, Or Die!" to "Dress Warmly in Layers."

Writing 51, via Mike

UW Milwaukee Student Union
Milwaukee, Wisconsin, USA 53202
Men's restroom, 1st floor

Boy this gum sure is chewy!

(Next to condom machine)

Writing 50, via Anonymous

University of York
Goodricke College
Men's restroom, ground floor.

God is dead -- Nietzsche

In different handwriting:

Nietzsche is dead -- God

In original handwriting:

but Zombie Nietzsche lives! -- Zombie Nietzsche

Writing 48, via TSC

Building: P-Block
Bristol BS7
Men's restroom, 2nd floor.

(Printed sign)

Please do not drop chewing gum in the urinal.

(Then in black marker)

It makes it taste funny.

Writing 47, via Robert

The Chucker
Tuscaloosa, Alabama, USA 35111
Men's restroom, ground floor

On condom machine:

Tarp that load!

Writing 46, via Robert

The Garage
Birmingham, Alabama, USA 35111
Men's restroom, ground floor

Champaign for my real friends.
Real pain for my sham friends.

Writing 45, via Robert

Pizitz (now closed)
Birmingham, Alabama, USA 35111
Men's restroom, 3rd floor.

Birdie, Birdie,
In the Snow
With broken wing
and frozen toes.
I drew it closer
with bits of bread,
picked up a rock,
and smashed in its head.

Writing 44, via Hamstak

Some random restaurant.
Sun City, California 92585.
Men's restroom.

On disposable toilet seat cover dispenser:

Disposable cowboy hats

Somebody offers a different opinion:

Ass gaskets for hot rod

Writing 43, via Travlin man

Mt. Arapiles, Victoria Australia.
Unisex restroom.

Before you condemn a man, walk a mile in his shoes.
That way, if he doesn't like what you have to say, at least you'll be a mile away and have his shoes.

Writing 42, via Anonymous

Al's Bar.
Los Angeles, California USA.
Men's restroom, ground floor.

I eat human flesh...and I vote.

Writing 41, via Dan

University of Arkansas.
Bell Engineering.
Fayetteville, Arkansas USA 72701.
Men's restroom, 2nd floor.

AIDS Cures Fags

Letters added, F marked out:

RolAIDS Cures Gas

Also, there's a diagram illustrating the fundamental theorem of calculus. A = integral with limits from x0 to x1 of f(x)dx, with drawing showing A, x0, x1, etc. Perfect for an engineering hall.

Writing 40, via Jamie

The "Old Pink".
Buffalo, New York USA 14222.
Men's restroom, 1st floor.

On the front of the condom machine in large, black print:


Writing 39, via The Custodian

Fine Hall.
Princeton, New Jersey USA 08544.
Men's restroom, 1st floor.

Arrow pointing to a Ground Fault Interrupt outlet above the sink, which is a power outlet with a circuit breaker and the 'TEST MONTHLY' button.

Yet another female receptacle with monthly problems.

Janitor's note: To reduce possible confusion, this particular "Custodian" has no affiliation with The Writings on the Stall, well, outside of submitting a writing.

Writing 38, via By Way of the Road

The Chukker.
Tuscaloosa, Alabama, USA 35043.
Men's restroom, near the outdoor porch.

Janitor's note: Porch as in outhouse, what/where?

Don't kid rock yourself.

Writing 37, via Anonymous

Engineering building.
San Diego, California 92182.
Men's restroom, 1st floor.

Roses are red
Violets are blue
I have VD
Now you do too!

Writing 36, via Shawn

CC's Coffee, Magazine/Jefferson.
New Orleans, Louisana USA 70115.
Men's restroom, 1st floor.

Your eyes won't believe what your mind seeks.

Writing 35, via Andrew

University of Sussex Library.
Falmer, Brighton BN1 9RH.
Unisex restroom, basement.

From Sussex University, a long time ago:

My mother made me a lesbian.


If I gave her the wool, would she make me one too?


For a message from the Vice Chancellor, press the red button (on the hot air dryer).

Writing 34, via Dave

Hole in the Wall.
Austin, Texas 78705.
Men's restroom, 1st floor.

Please do not throw cigarette butts in the urinal. They get all wet and soggy and then they are hard to light.

Bathroom in the now shut down "Hole In the Wall" bar, on the Drag, Austin, Texas.

Janitor's note: Dave, the Hole in the Wall is back in business.

Writing 33, via Buck

Eastern New Mexico University.
Roosevelt Hall (Science Research Center).
Portales, New Mexico 88130.
Men's Restroom, 3rd floor.

One line an answer to the next:

Biz-mar-kee got busy here
But this isn't burger-king
I'm not biz-mar-kee either

Writing 32, via Wayne

Club Hell.
Providence, Rhode Island 02904.
Men's restroom, 1st floor.

War teaches Americans geography.

Writing 30, via Chris

New York University.
School of Education.
New York, New York 10003.
Men's restroom, 3rd Floor.

We all think it's small.

Writing 29, via Andrew

Fort Collins, Colorado 80523.
Men's restroom, 2nd floor.

here I sit so broken hearted
came to shit but only farted
then one day I took a chance
tried to fart but shit my pants.

Writing 28, via David

Minneapolis, Minnesota 55401.
Men's restroom, 2nd floor.

Jesus saves
at first national bank

The two were written by different people.

Writing 27, via John

Mill shop at the old Carolco studios.
Wilmington, North Carolina 28443.
Men's restroom.

In 19 syllables, please describe your work here.


Fuck you X 9 1/2

Writing 26, via Anonymous

Applied Physics & Math.
La Jolla, California, USA 92093.
Men's restroom, 3rd Floor / West.

Semper Ubi Sub Ubi

(With writing below in a different hand.)

"Always Where Under Where?"

Writing 25, via Ivan

No Name Bar.
Sausalito, California, USA 94965.
Men's restroom, 1st floor.

Profanity is the crutch of the inarticulate motherfucker.

Writing 23, via Bob

Burke Science building.
Hamilton, Ontario, Canada L8S 4N8.
Men's restroom, 3rd floor.

If I could hold the
Sky every time you
smile, the whole
evening sky would be in my
Palm hold.

Classic love poetry with classic line divisions.

Writing 22, via Justin

SRJC Art Building.
Santa Rosa, California 94950.
Men's restroom, 2nd floor.

3/4 Cup Corn Nuts
1 Burger
1 Strawberry Shake
A muffin
Large Latte

Eat the food items in any order you see fit. Digest over night, in the morning drink the latte, place your ass on the grill and let loose.

Writing 21, via Kip

Cate Center.
Norman, Oklahoma, USA 73072.
Men's restroom, 1st Floor.

Graffiti on all three stall doors (now erased).

Laugh now, someday we'll be in charge
freedom is the crime that contains all other crimes.

Writing 20, via Jeremiah

University of North Texas.
General Academic Building.
Denton, TX 75203.
Men's restroom, 3rd floor.

here i sit violently stroking.
thinking about the pussy i wish i was poking
wondering where i can get some grass
'cause i sure as hell ain't getting no ass.

Writing 19, via Casey

Florida State University.
Oceanography/Statistics Bldg.
Tallahassee, Florida 32303.
Men's restroom, 1st floor.

"Kill all the doctors, then the lawyers, and then the politicians.

[Underneath it, a response:]

"Kill all the hippies, then the tree-huggers, then all the Californians.

Writing 18, via the Janitor in Chief

University of Texas at Austin.
McCombs School of Business.
Austin, Texas 78705.
Men's restroom, ground floor.

I go out of my way to shit at the Business school.
[Arrow through a heart] - Liberal Arts


I go out of my way to shit on Liberal Arts students.
[Arrow through a heart] - Business School

Kids, kids. Aren't we all on the same team?

Writing 16, via the Janitor in Chief

Again, from the Metro, on the Drag in Austin:

President's a BUSH,
Vice President's a DICK, So a Whole Lotta Fuckin'
Is what we gonna get...

Writing 15, via the Janitor in Chief

Found the following gem at The Metro (where all my favorites seem to come from) on the Drag in Austin, TX.

In America you're free as long as you conform to the rules and don't complain and wave your flag like a good Christian.

Writing 14, via Henri

Spec's Museum Cafe.
San Fransisco, CA 94108 (or thereabouts).
Men's restroom, ground floor.

Devils of the mind
Demons of the soul
Steel pole bathtub in my crotch

Spec's is a fine bar in SF, a gathering place for working class, yuppies, tourists, jazz singers...probably one of the finest drinking establishments in the world - and it has union bartenders!

Never knew what that meant. It was on the wall by a urinal where I had spent a good deal of time and I found myself repeating it when I faced with a situation that I didn't understand for many years. Since this is a fairly common occurance, it burned itself into my mind.

Writing 13, via Mark

Ben's Diner, Montreal, Quebec:

Sulu shat here.

George Takei [having played as Hikaru Sulu in the Star Trek saga from 1966 to the present] was on the wall of famous people who had eaten at the diner.

Writing 12, via Mark

Computer Science Building, Dalhousie University, Halifax, Nova Scotia:

to defeat the loss of inspiration.

Janitor's note: You may ask "huh" when you read this writing, but to such a response we'd like to point out that in there is where the humor lies.

Writing 10, via A.J.

From the men's stall in The Metro.

George Washington masturbates, and so do you.

Writing 8, via the Janitor in Chief

Entry found at The Metro in Austin in the men's restroom.

Sanity is only a denial of an insane universe.

Writing 6, via the Janitor in Chief

This entry was found on a men's stall in the Sam's Club on 290 in Austin:

On the stall door:

Let's play toilet tennis! (Look left)

On the left side:

(Look right)

If you happened to look to the right first...

(Look left)

Writing 5, via the Janitor in Chief

This entry was found on the stall of the South Austin Kerbey Lane Cafe (in the men's restroom of course):

Even nothing is something.

My best interpretation is that even apathy has results. Even doing nothing has consequences.

Writing 4, via Jacob

Found on a men's stall in a Kroger's in Richardson, Texas:

Employees must stick finger in ass before returning to work.

Appropriate, no. But do I give a flying fuck? Take a guess.

Writing 3, via Jeff

This found in the stall of a mens bathroom of a small(ish) Christian College... This is actually more interesting if you know that Greek and Hebrew are major languages of study there.

In heavy black marker, large letters:

Fuck School

In blue ball-point, the letters "u" and "c" were closed to display:

Fook School

Written in small letters, same ball-point pen:

Fook Ancient Greek word for "graduate"

Writing 1, via the Janitor in Chief

This inaugural entry was found in a men's restroom at The University of Texas. The stall was in the Undergraduate Library (UGL for short).

Subvert the dominant paradigm.